When you think feminine power or masculine power, what does your mind go to? Does it lean toward the societal constructs built around assigned gender roles, such as feminine people being caretakers, whereas masculine people are providers?
Reclaiming your feminine power starts with rewiring how we understand divine feminine energy. The concept of the divine feminine and divine masculine in modern times is often rooted in binary gender concepts, but when we look to the divine beings in countless cultures and traditions, over and over we see gender fluidity and gender-nonconforming deities.
This is in stark contrast to the images of the divine depicted in modern monotheistic religion, which slants towards eliminating the divine feminine and feminine qualities altogether. When we speak to reclaiming feminine power, it is by no means an attempt to erase masculine qualities, but merely to restore balance to what has long been suppressed, silenced, and diminished.
A good example of this is the concept of Yin-Yang energy. Both Yin and Yang energies play an important role in maintaining balance in the universe. There is a natural ebb and flow between the two. Neither is good nor bad. They simply are. They also are not separate from one another but contained within all things.
We think of Yang as the energy that sends, activates, is based in logic, and is positively charged. This is the energy that we consider “masculine”, and it is obvious, direct, loud, and light.
Yin energy is the opposite, and it receives, is passive, intuitive-based, and is negatively charged. This is the energy we consider “feminine”, and it is hidden, winding, quiet, and dark.
Modern belief systems look to these general concepts and quickly label Yang energy as good because it is associated with “life” and then turn to Yin energy and claim it’s evil because it is associated with “death”. But the two cannot exist independent from one another.
What happens when people try to portray Yin energy as evil is a domino effect.
If Yin is “evil” then they must also label nighttime, the womb, the moon, women, and everything else aligned with this energy as evil, and often they do. Women and feminine people’s voices become silenced. Men and masculine people are severed from their emotions and nurturing qualities. Practices that honor the earth, its cycles, and intuition become demonized. And all of it is ultimately a war on the divine feminine, and this negatively impacts everyone.
Some of my favorite examples of reclaiming feminine power are maintained in the stories of the gods and goddesses of old.
Kali
In Hinduism, Kali is far from what modern society would tell you is “feminine” and yet she is the ultimate feminine and transformative power of the divine feminine, destroying negative forces and embracing her ferocity.
If Kali was told to sit down, keep to herself, and be quiet, as many women throughout history have been told, they would have been in for a rude awakening and likely met with intense rage. Something that is necessary when there are injustices and imbalances occurring. Society would have you believe, though, that rage and such behaviors “aren’t ladylike” and should be abstained from, but only an imbalanced masculine force gains anything from femininity being watered down and quietly erased.
Lilith
Lilith, whose origins are sometimes attributed to Judaism or Mesopotamia, refused to conform or be diminished as a person simply because she was a woman. She demanded equality, something necessary in the context of feminine and masculine energy in the universe. When told to be subservient to her masculine partner, Adam, in the Jewish myth, she reiterated that they were meant to be partners of equal status.
She refused to be property, less than, or in submission to someone she was made to be in balance and harmony with, just like the energy of Yin and Yang once again. Through the religiously biased tellings of these stories, it’s easy to stray and fall into the trap that femininity is weaker and less important—but imagine if Yang energy told Yin that it was less valuable. There could be no life without death, no spring without winter, no dawn or morning without the night. The two are inextricably linked and one cannot dominate the other indefinitely. Balance is mandatory for existence to continue.
Ishtar
Ishtar of Mesopotamia, often syncretized with Lilith, was described as being gender-fluid, androgynous, or gender-nonconforming. She had both masculine and feminine traits, even described as being a bearded goddess of war while also being a goddess of fertility.
Those who followed her often were considered non-binary or transgender in modern interpretation, and they too understood what it meant to simply be. That they didn’t have to adhere to societal expectations or box themselves in, but could embrace Yin and Yang, and that life was more harmonious when they accepted that.
Now, this doesn’t mean everyone has to be transgender or nonbinary in order to embrace femininity and masculinity in their lives—but it does mean it’s worth reflecting on the areas in your life where you’ve been mistaught what feminine energy and masculine energy truly are. It also is an excellent opportunity to reflect on what energy you lean toward in your personal energy, and what steps can be taken to be more balanced.
For example, I lean heavily toward masculine energy. For much of my life I was go, go, go. I constantly had to be doing things. I lived in my work. Constantly putting in hours, hustling, and grinding to be successful. What I lacked in these seasons of my life was stillness. Presence. Connection. For me, reclaiming feminine power meant accepting and embracing Yin energy, like the unknown, chaos, transformation. It meant choosing to listen to my intuition when I had been trained to be logic driven. It meant allowing myself to dive into the shadows to heal, instead of maintaining a false sense of light and positivity. It meant reconnecting with my emotions rather than being disconnected and “all business” like how they want us to be in corporate America.
Feminine power as we see reflected in countless deities is knowing when to war and when to keep peace. When to cast and when to retreat. When to speak and when to be silent. It is about duality and being everything all at once instead of fragmenting our reality into separate compartmentalized boxes.
Ask yourself if your energy is typically more passive or active. Do you typically send energy, constantly doing things, or receive energy, and being still. Do you easily move between the two? If you have difficulty moving between the two, ask yourself if it’s related to suppression of your feminine power. A fear of being seen and heard. Of being too loud or angry. Of being too aggressive or dramatic. Ask yourself where those labels came from… Who slapped them on you or made you feel like you had to dilute yourself, shrink, or make yourself more palatable for a world that is at war with the feminine nature of reality.
Ask yourself what power you must hold in your bones if at every turn people in power have demonized ancient goddesses who were once beloved by their people, erase the divine feminine from religion and spirituality, suppress the voices of women by stripping them of their rights to vote, own property, or make decisions about their own body without the sign-off from a man… Ask yourself what power you have inside you that is waiting to be unleashed once you realize you were never too much, you were never evil, you were never too emotional, you were never fill in the blank…
After all, the ones who reinforced that narrative were disconnected from feminine power themselves and hated all of the aspects of life that could’ve brought them balance, growth, and expansion, instead of having to constantly fight tooth and nail to maintain their grip on their power over the people.
Ask yourself if you’re ready to reclaim your feminine power, and if so, what are you going to do first to lean into the receptivity, unknown, shadows, nighttime, lunar cycles, womb, oceans, chaos, stillness, rest, transformation…
So, how do we go about reclaiming feminine power?
This is the switch from survival and hustle mode to presence.
Being instead of Doing — Pay attention to your thoughts when you sit down to eat, take a break during your busy day, or lay down for bed at night. Thoughts that constantly tell us we are lazy, not doing enough, aren’t productive enough, didn’t perform well enough in a social setting, didn’t check enough things off our to-do list, etc., are rooted in DOING.
They are performance driven instead of presence driven.
This will take time to rewire, but if you sit down for a meal, “doing” looks like I need to continue checking emails while I eat, whereas PRESENCE looks like “what does my body need right now?” Food. To nourish myself. And then taking the time to eat something that satisfies what the body actually needs in this present moment. This isn’t inactivity, but it is intentional activity that isn’t rooted in performance, appearances, anxiety, etc., but rather in being in the present moment, listening intuitively to what is actually needed for you to be balanced and capable of all of the other things you want and need to do in your daily life. You don’t have to earn the ability to eat, rest, or sleep.
Embracing the Unknown — The unknown is chaotic, terrifying, and filled with what-ifs. Masculine energy aims to control, preserve itself, and avoid or eliminate that which it doesn’t understand. It operates from logic and is resistant to change and the scary possibilities that come with not being in control of the future or a specific situation.
Feminine energy leans into the darkness, the wildness, the infiniteness of what is possible when we relinquish control, surrender to the universe, and open the door to the mysteries of life.
Pay attention to WHY you make choices throughout your daily life. If you’re making choices to control every possible outcome of an interaction with a friend, operating from survival and self-preservation mode, moving through life in fear of what might happen, it’s time to reclaim feminine power by surrendering to the elements of life you cannot control, by regulating your nervous system and becoming more self-aware of what is actually motivating you. Centering and grounding, aiming to be less reactionary, and holding space for things coming and going in your life without tightening your grasp on them is the best way to lean into the feminine in your life.
The Mystic's Journey
This is the heart of everything I teach through Astarte’s Temple and The Mystic’s Journey Wisdom School. How to embrace the fullness of who we are, reclaim the power of divine feminine and goddesses, and truly become the weavers of our own fate by finding balance in how we practice magick and witchery in each area of our lives. If you’d like to learn more about this, all weekend I’m giving a free month of access to this wisdom school with every reading booked with me.
The wisdom school is an in-depth 3.5 year program that teaches over 40 types of witchery alongside the ancient esoteric wisdom of the goddesses as viewed through multiple pantheons and spiritual traditions. Unlike many virtual classes or courses, The Mystic’s Journey is an interactive gamified quest where you earn crystals as you learn, discover and unlock easter eggs throughout the platform, can embark on side quests to learn about specific topics in a deeper way, and be a part of a forum to engage with other spiritual practitioners.
The Star Village
All of this is also woven into a huge project I’m working on called The Star Village. It is a massive sacred site we’re working to develop that is intended to represent and bridge the gap between all spiritual traditions so that practitioners of all paths can embrace witchery and magick in a shared place that honors what makes each person’s practice unique through the lens of their culture, heritage, and traditions, while also embracing the collaborative power that comes through learning and working alongside those who are different from ourselves.
We see this being a place for healing the wounds and divisiveness that often keep the spiritual community divided into separate pockets so that there is instead unity that welcomes and celebrates our diversity as practitioners instead of expecting everyone to practice or look the same. It’ll feature sacred temples, meditation gardens, mystical shops, cafes, ritual gathering spaces, and more, but in a way that is representative of the pagan, witchcraft, and mystical traditions all around the globe. A big part of this is bringing in those who are the experts in their craft to speak to the cultural significance of what they believe and practice in a way that honors the fullness of the tradition so that there isn’t appropriation or misrepresentation.
It is intended to be a hub that gives a place for all paths to converge, be authentic, and be empowered. It is how we aim to reclaim feminine power within our life’s work.
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