Inner Child Healing is something that all people, regardless of their spiritual beliefs, can benefit from exploring. For spiritual practitioners, though, healing the inner child is especially important as it helps us reclaim the things we were naturally drawn to in adolescence, which is often inextricably linked with our unique spiritual paths as adults. This article walks through a baseline understanding of what goes into healing the inner child to help you along the way on your path.
The Inner Child
What exactly is the inner child? This is the "part" of you that is developed from birth through age 12. When wounds are developed during this early time period when our brains are actively forming, this can create a "wall" or "box" around younger you in an attempt to protect or shield you from further harm.
As adults, when things come up in our day to day life that are sensitive to our wounded inner child, we may react in a child-like manner, as though we are experiencing the current scenario as our younger self. To work through these cycles, navigate our triggers, and restore that part of ourselves, requires going back in time to love, heal, and be there for little us.
How the Inner Child Gets Wounded
Rejection — Our childhood is a constant state of learning, and when we're in environments where we're made to feel weird, different, abnormal, or like something is wrong with us, this can cause a great deal of stress in our formative years when we're merely trying to survive and fit in.
Bullying — Bullying is a very common and yet awful experience that has heightened rates in middle school and can create long-lasting effects on how we interact with others, view ourselves, and behave in social settings.
Instability — When our childhood is filled with an overabundance of change, crisis, or instability, this can create trust issues, difficulty creating and maintaining friendships, and more leading to long-term issues in adulthood.
Parentification — Being forced to act like an adult at a young age can be very damaging to children because it forces them to grow up too soon, carry responsibilities that are above their age level or capacity, or put them in roles to have parent their parents or even their siblings, all of which have lasting negative impacts in adulthood.
Abuse — When children experience physical, psychological, sexual, verbal, emotional, or spiritual abuse, whether that be at the hands of a family member, in a religious setting, or in a harmful relationship, this can be severely damaging, altering how we embrace love, understand family dynamics, or what we believe we deserve in relationships as adults.
Navigating Healing Your Inner Child
If your inner child felt unsafe, unseen, or overly criticized, it's time to navigate healing this part of ourselves. When you start healing your inner child, you give yourself permission to remove the "walls" or "box" that was built to protect yourself back then. This is done through provide nurturing, validation, or comfort, leading the inner child that once felt ignored or unloved to be seen and accepted.
Benefits of Healing Your Inner Child
- Overcoming codependency that results in difficulty setting boundaries, people-pleasing, over-functioning in relationships, and low self-worth, which often develops when a child is made responsible for the emotional needs of a parent, or when love was conditional on compliance and caretaking.
- Overcoming emotional dysregulation and self-punishment that results in explosive anger, rebellion, risky behaviors (acting out) or self-harm, depression, and withdrawal (acting in), which stems from not having safe ways to express emotions, or from being punished or ignored when trying to get attention or help.
- Working through trust issues that result in difficulty relying on others, hyper-vigilance, controlling behavior, or constant doubt in relationships, which arises when caregivers were unpredictable, dishonest, or violated boundaries, leaving the child unsure of who or what was safe.
- Working through intimacy issues that result in sabotaging relationships, emotional unavailability, or merging too quickly and losing your sense of self, which is often rooted in early experiences where vulnerability led to shame, rejection, or betrayal, causing the child to equate closeness with danger.
- Navigating addiction and compulsive behavior that results in substance abuse, compulsive behaviors (eating, shopping, working), or obsessive thoughts, which often served to numb emotional pain or fill the void left by unmet needs, particularly when a child was not taught emotional regulation or was exposed to addictive environments.
- Working through emotional emptiness that results in difficulty identifying desires, lack of purpose, and existential sadness, which often stems from emotional neglect, where the child’s inner world was unseen or dismissed, leaving them unsure of their own identity or value.
Magick to Heal Your Inner Child
- Journaling & Spell Work — Write a letter to your younger self from your present-day, loving adult perspective. Write back to yourself from the inner child's perspective to express fears or concerns. These letters can be burned or destroyed after they're written to "release" them.
- Reclaiming What You Loved — Intentionally do things you loved as a child, such as creating art, watching TV shows or movies you loved, spending time outdoors, or anything else that brought you joy.
- Shadow Work & Rituals — Navigate healing the shadow aspects of your inner child to allow healing for both younger you and current you. This practice is especially powerful when combined with visualization of providing a safe and healing space for your inner child to be their authentic self without judgment.
- Tarot & Oracle — Use divination to help explore things that are hidden from you relating to fears, concerns, and trauma that occurred in your child years so you can find a suitable path forward for healing.
- Create an Altar — Create an altar or shrine dedicated to your inner child with things that they loved, enjoyed, or got excited about to allow for greater directed healing.
Shadow Work Prompts to Heal Your Inner Child
- What did your inner child need most that it didn’t receive?
- If your inner child could ask for anything, what would it be?
- What kind of playfulness does your inner child yearn for?
- What emotional needs were unmet during your childhood?
- Describe a time in your childhood when you hurt someone's feelings. What happened?
- What was the most difficult part of your childhood?
- Describe a time in your childhood when you felt light and care-free.
- What was your favorite toy or activity as a kid?
- What does the word "childlike" mean to you?
- What was something that scared you as a kid?
- What was something you were insecure about as a child? How does it influence your life now?
- Describe a time when you felt misunderstood as a kid.
- What role did you play in your family?
- What's an affirmation you could have used as a child?
- Who did you consider a mentor growing up?
- Do you find it easy or difficult to access memories from your childhood?
- What was your favorite movie or TV show as a kid and what did you love about it?
- What was your favorite book as a kid?
- Is there anything stopping you from moving forward from some aspect of your childhood?
- What was your "safe space" as a kid?
- When you feel ashamed, how do you react?
- What can you do now that can honor the needs of your inner child?
- Are you good at prioritizing yourself?
- What makes you feel jealous? Do you have any idea where that envy comes from?
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