Inner Teen Healing has been coming up over and over lately for the collective of spiritual practitioners. This article is meant to give a baseline understanding of what goes into healing the inner teen to help you along the way on your path.
The Inner Teen
What exactly is the inner teen? This is the "part" of you that is developed when between ages 13 and 19. When wounds are developed during this window of time as a result of trauma, bullying, heartache, fear, instability, and the like, this can create a fragmented aspect of yourself that stays "frozen in time" at the age you were when the wound occurred.
As adults, when things come up in our day to day life that are sensitive or provoking to our inner teen, we may react as though we are the age we were when a similar themed incident occurred when we were younger. For example, if we felt we were abandoned by a family member, parent, or friend at the age 14—in adulthood, if we find ourselves in a similar scenario where we fear someone leaving us behind, we may react in a similar manner to how we did when we were 14.
To work through these cycles, navigate our triggers, and restore that part of ourselves, requires going back in time to love, heal, and be there for little us.
How the Inner Teen Gets Wounded
Rejection — Our teen years are filled with desperation for social acceptance, feeling normal despite dramatic changes with our body and minds, and making friends. When we experience rejection, it can rewire our brain to act differently, change who we are, etc., to attempt to prevent that from happening again. Rejection and fear of rejection can lead to anxiety and feeling weird, both of which can have a lasting impact well into adulthood if these wounds aren't processed and addressed.
Bullying — Bullying is a very common and yet cruel experience that can occur in our teen years. Bullying can be physical, verbal, or happen on social media. Bullies often target other teens based on their appearance, gender, sex, race, or beliefs, and can lead to mental health concerns, low self-esteem, trust issues, and academic decline—all of this is important to heal and process and actively work to prevent in future contexts.
Instability — Moving, switching schools, divorce, deaths, car accidents, serious illness, and the like can all create a great deal of instability in our developmental years when we crave routine and safety. Being introduced to such heavy topics, feeling responsible for the crises that occurred, or not having the capacity for fulling understanding why certain things are happening can be traumatic for teens.
Parentification — Being forced to grow up too quick, take responsibility for parents' emotions and behaviors, help raise and care for the other siblings in the household, or take on adult concerns at a young age is a heavy burden for a teen to carry the weight of, especially when a parent is absent, incarcerated, battling addiction, immature, or unreliable.
Narcissism — When teens are raised by people with narcissistic tendencies, who use fear-based discipline tactics, withhold love and care as punishment, use manipulation or control, gaslight or lie, or intentionally make teens feel like they're never enough, this can be incredibly detrimental and damaging.
Abuse — When teens experience physical, psychological, sexual, verbal, emotional, or spiritual abuse, whether that be at the hands of a family member, in a religious setting, or in a harmful relationship, this can be severely damaging, altering how we embrace love, understand family dynamics, or what we believe we deserve in relationships.
Navigating Healing Your Inner Teen
When our inner teen felt unheard, misunderstood, or pressured to fit into roles that weren’t truly us, it's time to navigate healing this part of ourselves. When you start healing your inner teen, you give yourself permission to welcome that part of you back into your whole self. This is done through cultivating self-acceptance and giving yourself the love you might have craved back then, revisiting past experiences with compassion instead of shame, identifying the needs that weren’t met and finding ways to meet them now, and acknowledging any limiting beliefs that formed during that time and working to release them.
Benefits of Healing Your Inner Teen
- Improved emotional regulation
- Healthier relationship dynamics
- Increased confidence
- Reconnecting with yourself
- Breaking generational cycles
- Embracing your passions and creative side
- Releasing unhealthy patterns
Magick to Heal Your Inner Teen
- Journaling & Spell Work — Write a letter to your 13 to 19-year-old self from your present-day, loving adult perspective. Write back to yourself from the teen’s perspective to express bottled-up anger or joy. These letters can be burned or destroyed after they're written to "release" them.
- Reclaiming What You Loved — Intentionally do things you loved as a teen, such as listening to specific music, wearing "forbidden" clothing, or creating art, to reconnect with your creative spirit. If you were passionate about it back then, even if it was something you were scared to express at the time for fear of rejection, consider embracing it now. For some, this might also look like getting a piercing or tattoo you always wanted.
- Shadow Work & Rituals — Navigate healing the shadow aspects of your inner teen to allow healing for both younger you and current you. This practice is especially powerful when combined with visualization of providing a safe and healing space for your inner teen to be their authentic self without judgment.
- Tarot & Oracle — Use divination to help explore things that are hidden from you relating to fears, concerns, and trauma that occurred in your teen years so you can find a suitable path forward for healing.
- Create an Altar — Create an altar or shrine dedicated to your inner teen with things that they loved, enjoyed, or got excited about to allow for greater directed healing.
Shadow Work Prompts to Heal Your Inner Teen
- What really mattered to me as a teenager? In what ways did I rebel, or in what ways did I feel unable to rebel?
- What did I learn about emotions, affection, or safety as a teenager?
- What was the most difficult part of adolescence for me?
- What did I need most as a teenager but didn't receive?
- If I could sit in a room with my teenage self, what would I tell them?
- What emotion was labeled as "bad" or "wrong" in my home growing up?
- What shameful, humiliating, or embarrassing memories arise when I look back?
- What was my self-perception as a teenager, and how has it shaped my adult life?
- What "masks" did I wear as a teenager to fit in or stay safe, and do I still wear them?
- What would make my inner teenager feel safe?
- What did I love to do as a teenager that I no longer do? Why?
- In what ways am I still holding on to, or acting out, teen-age wounds?
- How can I show love to my inner teen today?
- If I could rewrite my teenage story, what would it look like?
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